Then you are alive.. toh zinda ho tum

I’m going through an acute bout of writer’s block. The kind when you want to write about a lot of stuff but cannot seem to find the words or the momentum, and just end up staring at the blank computer screen for hours.

So while I try to get the tempo back, for those of you interested in poetry, here’s a piece that’s one of my favorites and something I’ve wanted to share since some time.

This is actually from a Hindi movie (movie version at the end of the post) that is about living life to the fullest and letting go of inhibitions, fears and regrets because you only get to live once!

The English translation is inspired by Ammu from her blog The Lively Moments.

Here it goes:

If you are carrying restlessness in your heart, then you are alive
If you are carrying the lightning of dreams in your eyes, then you are alive

Learn to live free like the wind
Learn to go with the flow of waves like a river
Embrace every moment with open arms
Let your eyes see a new view every moment

If you are carrying wonder in you eyes, then you are alive
If you are carrying restlessness in your heart, then you are alive

I’m proud of you because…

Haven’t all parents said this to their children at some point? Maybe not in the same words, but the underlying meaning is the same. I’m proud of you because you were good. I’m proud of you because you got such good grades. I’m proud of you because you played well. You get the idea.

I say that to Vivaan too sometimes. He has been learning karate since last 3 months now and is doing much better than when he started. ‘Better’ is of course a relative term. In this case it means he listens to the sensei 90% of the time, does not stop in the middle of the class to stare at what other kids are doing, play with his belt or worse, with the much more interesting stuff inside his nose (it did happen once)!

Since he is doing better now, I try to encourage him by telling him after class that I’m proud of him for doing such and such. But every time I do that, a small voice inside me tells me not to. After all, isn’t a parent’s love (and pride in the child) supposed to be unconditional? Regardless of his ‘performance’ in various arenas, regardless of what the society’s standards of being ‘good’ are, should I not always be proud of him? Then why do I subconsciously  tell him that I will only be proud of him when he meets those standards – which may not even be the same as my own.

It is commonly said that a parent’s, especially a mother’s love for a child is unconditional. From what I perceive, the reality couldn’t be further from the truth. From the minute they are born, we start expecting from them – that they will return our love, do well in school and sports, be nice to others, and in general, grow up to be ‘successful’ adults. If there is so much expectation, the love cannot be unconditional, can it? We may say that we want all this for their own good, but the truth is that we want them to fit in and meet all the benchmarks our society has created for them. So that we can be proud of being parents of achieving, successful children.

So next time, I will keep all of this in mind when I tell my son that I am proud of him. Instead of feeling a little let-down when he is always last in the little warm-up race they have before karate, I will be proud that he is the only kid who runs carefully so that he doesn’t step on other children’s toes. And I will tell him that and mean it too. Because it doesn’t matter if he turns out to be just an average or below-average achiever by society’s standards, I will always be crazy proud of him for being who he is.

As long as he doesn’t send me to an old people’s home…

Racism?

Go to this link to read the article. Don’t forget the video at the end.

http://www.ndtv.com/article/hollywood/kutcher-ad-showing-him-as-indian-is-racist-205691

What do you think? Is it racist?

I think it is hilarious… especially the bollywood dance move.. and he pulled it off really well :)

A classic example, in my opinion, of how overuse of a word (racism in this case), undermines the real and serious episodes of that phenomenon that caused real harm.

One thousand views

I write mostly for myself; because it brings a strange kind of peace to my mind that few other things do. But it still feels good to see this!

Thank you all for listening, and an even bigger thank you to those who inspired me to do this!

How to remain a vegetarian in the US

A long time back, during one of my first few visits to the US, I was telling someone, that I was a vegetarian. A friend who was listening to that conversation said – “probably not anymore”. He used to say that when you eat outside food, you can never be sure of what you are eating. It bothered me a lot, but I did not have much of a choice at that time.

Things are different now and I am a little better at identifying what I should or should not eat. What I have found is that it really is not as simple here as it is in India where all food packaging has to be marked with a green or a red dot to identify it as suitable for vegetarians (green) or not (red). Animal by-products are used in a variety of different forms, in foods that you cannot imagine would need them.

So I decided to make a list of such foods to avoid if you are a vegetarian and wish to do so. If you’ve been living in the US for a long time, you probably already know about these. This post is mainly meant to help vegetarians who have recently moved to the United States. So, here goes!

1. Cheese: Surprised? I was too. Probably because ‘paneer’, the Indian cheese, can be made at home from ingredients as simple as milk and lemon juice. The various different types of cheeses you get here though, contain an enzyme called ‘rennet’ which is usually derived from the lining of the stomach of calves. It is not always clearly listed in the ingredients. Many times you will just see ‘enzymes’ in the ingredients of the cheese. Most likely it is still animal-derived rennet. To avoid this, when I eat out, I ask them to leave the cheese out of my dish. You can also buy cheese made from microbial rennet at some health food stores or the good old Amul cheese with a big green dot on the package from an Indian store. If you are craving pizza, Little Caesar is one pizza place that uses vegetarian cheese (made from microbial rennet) on their pizzas.

2. Yogurt: I’m not kidding. There is a reason that the yogurt that you buy is so smooth and creamy. Many of the varieties that are available contain gelatin, which is derived from the collagen inside the bones of animals. If that bothers you, use the variety that contains pectin, which serves similar purpose as gelatin but is derived from plant sources. And then use it to make your own gelatin-free yogurt at home. It is worth the little effort!

3. Gummy bears/candies: These contain gelatin too. Think of anything that has jelly-like consistency and an unnatural neither-solid-nor-liquid form – jello, gummy bears, marshmallows – they all have gelatin.

4. Refried beans: One of the few foods I can eat in a Mexican restaurant. Originally it was made out of lard (pig/beef fat). These days many restaurants do not use lard but some still may. It never harms to confirm, and re-confirm, even if you annoy the hell out of the server, even if they don’t understand a word you say and you don’t understand a word they say.

5. Soups/sauces: Even if the soup or sauce itself doesn’t have any meat, it could have been based on a beef/chicken/meat broth. Make sure your soup is made with vegetable broth. Recently I found out that my favorite alfredo sauce (served with pasta in Italian restaurants) can sometimes also contain chicken broth. So now I always double-check before ordering.

6. Thai food: Their seemingly harmless (sorry meat-eaters!) veggie fried rice and soup dishes may have a fish or shrimp-based sauce. I used to go to a family run place that served a “vegetarian” soup I LOVED. Although they are the nicest people ever, we did have some communication problems. After my repeatedly asking whether that soup was vegetarian even after getting an answer in the affirmative, they finally got fed up and brought out the bottle of the sauce they used in that soup. It had shrimp in it! I was a vegetarian no more! If this had happened a couple of years ago, I would have probably gone to the restroom and wept for the animal I just ate, but a lot has changed in the last couple of years. Now I just go to the Thai food place that explicitly lists food items as vegetarian on their menu. Goodbye nice Thai couple :(.

7. ‘Burger’ always means it is has beef. So does a ‘patty melt’, even if the description doesn’t mention any meat. It is not like India, where a “burger” can have a veggie patty. Trust me. I found this out the hard way.

8. Caesar dressing for salads has anchovies – a type of fish (yuck!) (sorry again meat-eaters!).

That’s all I can think of right now. If there are any other foods that you know of, that vegetarians should avoid, please do share. I will be forever grateful!